Off The Map Discussion Board for Christians, Atheists and People In-between

[Eliza]

I don't remember my parents talking about religion or God during my childhood. I'm an only child. My dad is a physicist, from a long line of physicists and an even longer line of Quakers, went to a Quaker boarding school then a Quaker college, then "lapsed" long before I was born. (Tracing genealogy recently as an offshoot of a heritage project my son had for school, I found 3 ancestors who were part of the initial colony in Rhode Island in 1638 - so presumably went there seeking religious freedom from the Puritans - then several who converted to Quaker in 1650's-1660's, then many many Quakers for 300 years.) My mom is a business/finance type. Both are socially liberal, which always surprises me because both are introverts & can be judgmental of others, and neither is very "touchy-feely" or open about emotions, so they just don't seem like the type. In talking with each of them as an adult, I'm interested that they both say they do believe in God, but it's clear they don't like organized religion & don't believe in an afterlife. My dad does not believe in the God of the Bible, or Jesus. I haven't probed their beliefs further.

Anyway, one of the earliest sentient thoughts I remember having went along the lines of "I can think, but I can't sense anyone else's thoughts - how do I know everyone else is real? Wait, how do I even know that I exist? Maybe this is all just imaginary & my brain is in a jar somewhere." Weird, but basically an early manifestation of my strong inner sense of skepticism. That's me, "show me the solid proof and then make sure it's airtight" Eliza.

Sometime around age 8, I decided I wanted to go to church. I think I might have gone one Sunday morning after a sleepover with a friend & got interested. So, my parents took me to church - literally. I picked a church, and they dropped me off outside and picked me up later, never came in, never commented on it (but weren't unsupportive, just very matter of fact). I don't remember if I ever went to the main service, but I do remember going to Sunday school sessions, which focused on Jesus, and I somehow started reading the Bible, starting with Genesis (& not getting past the flood story). After a little while (a few weeks??) I stopped going. I don't remember the details, but to me at that age It All Just Seemed Like a Story That Didn't Make Any Sense At All.

After that experience, I remember getting very confused about everyone saying Adam was the first person: in Genesis 1, God made man, "male and female he made them", then Adam appears in Genesis 2, so I was very sure that there were people on earth before Adam. (My youthful interpretation did help explain to me where Cain and his siblings would have found their spouses without resorting to incest - an issue that I've recently found is a sore point that some "apologists" try to solve - funny, though, I haven't seen anyone use the explanation that worked for me at age 8 & still doesn't seem half-bad!)

I cruised along for years without much thinking about religion. (I have gone to ~3 Quaker meetings over the past 20 years, as the model of an "inner light" strikes me as one I can "buy" - if it equals "life-force" - but in each of those meetings one or more people started talking about the Bible or Jesus, and it wasn't what I wanted to hear.) A year or two ago, maybe in a midlife crisis-ette, I started reading about Buddhism, which appealed in part for its nontheistic basis (though gods are rife in some sects) but wasn't something I felt strongly enough about to find a group, etc.

About 6 months ago I got a Bible, not "seeking" but thinking that if so many people felt so certain about God and Jesus, maybe it was worth checking whether my long-standing disbelief (and discontent with what I'd read of the Bible long before) was really valid, or perhaps was baseless. (Also, felt like I was missing some or a lot of cultural references to the Bible.) I've posted elsewhere about my reaction: pretty deep disappointment, in small part because it didn't "speak to me" but really more that it seemed (to me) (1) so obviously full of major inconsistencies and (2) so obviously written by people to push their agendas, yet is clearly uber-acceptable and beloved to many people who have read the exact same words. Not meaning to offend anyone of course, but that's how it strikes me. Have gone searching on the internet and in many books over the past 6 months to try to figure out how people can make sense of these issues, & basically I find the skeptic literature resonates w/ my reading of the Bible & approach (including what assumptions I'm willing to allow), and the Christian "apologists" seem to resort to tortured explanations to make it fit their preconceived storyline (again, imo). Basically, it has seemed that it all comes down to faith: either you have it, and you can make a few leaps of faith, or you don't and you can't. So, that's my story (so far)...

(And, BTW, I did decide long ago that the world and all its beings are indeed real, and not just a figment of my neural tissue. )

[Ir (Helen)]

Thanks for sharing, Eliza! This is a fine answer to my question about whether you were always an atheist

I'm currently writing about me and the Bible (question ten) - you might be interested to read that when I get it finished and added to this board.

[JaysonB]

Very interesting Eliza. It seems that those who were "raised" atheist or without religion, and stick to it, tend to be ones with parents who were highly educated, mainly the sciences.


I've been considering going back for my masters, and this is something that I would love to explore a little more in school........the differences between atheists who come to that conclusion later in life compared to those who proclaim atheism but were just raised without religion.

[NCxian]

Thanks, Eliza!

Jayson, I recall early on in the life of this monster (the atheist blog), Hemant mentioned his Jainist upbringing and that that continues to affect his life even though he has jettisoned the god part. For instance, he is still a pacificist, still a vegetarian, etc. (He also spoke to that briefly in this Infidel Guy interview.) Someone replied to that early post that he was raised Muslim, has since become an atheist but retains certain values related to his Muslim upbringing.

I think that would make a worthy subject for study. It might also make a good question to start a thread among this on-line community.